I love this question for a few reasons. First, the answer is typically a binary yes or no and that helps with clarity. Another reason is that the language of the questions is not seeking a subjective judgement of quality or morality. Perhaps my favorite reason is that we can use it to challenge our behaviors, our emotions, and our thoughts so it’s like having a multi-tool or swiss army knife in our mental tool kit.
Another variation of this question I am starting to really like is “What purpose is this serving?” or “How is this serving me?” This question helps start an exploration of our thoughts, behaviors, or emotions that focuses on understanding the goals they are associated with. This is really helpful once we start to understand some of the goals and objectives that drive us may be hidden from our direct awareness.
I think it is also important to point out that we shouldn’t just use these tools for managing and exploring the inherently negative aspects of our lives. It is an extremely powerful tool to use for exploring our successes and accomplishments, our positive emotions, and the thoughts that inspire and motivate us.
