From the Stoic perspective, gaining control of our impulses allows us to be intentional about living the life we want to live. Oftentimes I think this is viewed as raw discipline and or a brute force method of self control. Fortunately there are ways to train our minds to be a more effective tool for managing our impulsive behaviors.

There is an entire inventory of methodologies in cognitive behavior theories that can be used to increase our capability and capacity to influence and change behaviors that keep us from living the life we want to live.

Here are a few of my favorites.

1.  Thought restructuring: This is the skill of observing you thoughts and assessing them for problematic thinking, errors in judgement, or the use of faulty evidence. The thought is disputed, challenged and reframed from something that is harmful or hindering to something that is more helpful.

2. Urge-Surfing: This is a beautiful and elegant metaphor. It starts with being mindful (present in the moment) and aware that you are having an impulse or urge. Then you imagine that you are simply riding the wave of this urge to act as if you are surfing a wave. This has the built in effect of knowing that all waves eventually subside against the shore.

3. Create Space: If you recognize an urge you can respectfully say to yourself “OK I really want to…. But let me wait 10 minutes.” During that 10 minutes step into a new activity like going for a walk, doing some push ups, maybe take a pause and do a body scan or some deep breathing. 

The cool part about using these techniques is that neuroscience researchers have been able to observe physical evidence that they increase the strength of our Prefrontal Cortex and reduce overreactions from the Amygdala. Basically giving us more time to think before we have an overly emotional response.