You can recover from the vast majority of mistakes. When I teach clients and groups about the stages of change I try to emphasize the high likelihood that once we start taking action to change we will fail… and that failure is OK. It might even be necessary for real growth and development. What I […]
This morning I was reading about “cultivating indifference” and I had the thought… Hey man, just relax. And that thought really annoyed me. Here is why I think it annoyed me. When we sit in judgement of the things around us we are putting them into categories that might look something like “this is good”
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Just because you have a temper does not mean you should have a tantrum. Frustration and anger are some seriously powerful emotions, and they can be useful for us… why else would we have them? Problems start to come up when we channel frustration and anger into behaviors that dig us into a hole, slam
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A very simple thought, that isn’t so simple. Can our purpose be to find meaning in our life instead of focusing on the existential struggle to find the meaning of our life? It seems more manageable and realistic to find meaning in my life because it is tied to the things I do. It means
Do you ever find yourself in a downward spiral of self-criticism and negative self-talk? I’ve had those days, so I know first hand how mean we can get when we talk about ourselves using our internal, relentless “inner voice.” It’s hard to imagine those thoughts not having a deep impact on our lives. We can
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“The rules are made up and the points don’t matter.” I’ve always loved this line from the iconic improv comedy show “Whose Line is it Anyway.” Now, before you get caught up in reality testing here… yes of course there are some rules, and there are some points that matter… and there are A LOT
You don’t have to act on every thought you have or emotion you feel. Let me swing a little harder… acting on every thought you have or emotion you feel is not wise, respectable, helpful, or your right to do without consequence. What you can do with every single thought you have or emotion you
We get grumpy when we don’t get what we want. So maybe… if we controlled our desires we would be less grumpy? Take a moment and just list off all the things you want. Maybe you are lucky and that little exercise made you feel motivated. More than likely you are like a lot of
Temperance isn’t just a virtue, it can be a tool. Temperance has a lot of nuisance and meaning. For me it invokes thoughts of self-regulation, self-restraint, and discipline. When we think of temperance as a tool I think there is a natural tendency to see it as useful for controlling our physical desires, but I
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Last night I finished reading “Zen in the Art of Archery” and I have some thoughts I’m playing with. First off, I think it is a profound book about cultural openness and exploration of the self through novel experiences which I think is super powerful. Explorations like this give us the chance to put our
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