We are alive today because of fear, and we might not be living the life we want to live today because of fear. While these ideas are at odds with each other they can still both be true. Let’s explore.
One of our Oldest Survival Instincts
Neuroscience, along with evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology have helped us map out the development and impacts of the fear response physically, mentally, and emotionally. We know that when we perceive a threat the amygdala – our danger early warning system–activates instantly by signaling the sympathetic nervous system that “it’s go time” sending us into a fight, flight, or freeze response.
I can’t help but picture the automated defense systems in Afghanistan that would detect an incoming rocket or mortar and then activate miniguns to flood the sky with bullets and tracer rounds to try and shoot down the threat.
This fear response is critical for us to respond to danger in real time to avoid life threatening danger. If our ancestors didn’t have it… we would not be here today.
Fear Today
In our modern western civilization context there aren’t many lions stalking across vast savanas, and we are pretty well insulated from the snakes and spiders that used to sneak up on us in the forest and jungles. We aren’t necessarily under threat from roving bands of tribally divided hunters planning to ambush us in battles over territory. But our senses and our brains are still hardwired for detecting these threats and sit on a hair trigger for launching a response to keep us safe so we can survive.
This presents a problem for us. Just because we aren’t being hunted by lions, tigers, snakes, spiders, and other humans doesn’t mean our senses and response systems haven’t stopped looking for them.
In today’s world the threat landscape has changed. Direct threats to our life may have significantly decreased but there are other, more nuanced and subtle threats that exist in their place. The challenge is to address the threats with the appropriate response and not fully activate our fight or flight response.
Modern Fear: The good and the Bad
Just like it did for our ancestors, fear can be a helpful tool for navigating the world around us, but it can also cause us some significant problems.
On the helpful side, fear can be a signal for caution, it can push us to take more time to prepare, and it can be an indication that we are approaching a boundary or limitation.
Fear can also get in our way if it drives us to avoid a challenge, it can distort our thinking, and it can raise our stress levels leading to physical symptoms associated with chronic stress like fatigue, and irritability.
Working with Fear
I like to approach fear as a partner emotion instead of something we should avoid. Thankfully there are some tools for doing this effectively and safely.
- Reality Testing – This is a tool for exploring the source and nature of fear. The first step is to identify the source of the fear by asking “What am I afraid of?” Then you can explore the fear by asking “what’s the evidence that this fear is valid?” Finally, you can challenge the fear by asking “what advice would I give a friend about handling this fear?”
- Behavior Experiments – We can learn to handle our biggest fears by microdosing the fear to build up tolerance. For example, if someone is terrified of going outside they might start by looking out the window, then looking out their door, then standing on their porch, then walking out into their driveway… you get the point. We can build a tolerance to fear by slowly and safely exposing ourselves to the things that make us uncomfortable. This is exponentially powerful because the tolerance can generalize from one fear response across the entire system of fear. Remember, when we do hard things, hard things get easier.
- Reframing – The cognitive reframe is a way of addressing some of the distorted thinking that emerges when a fear response impacts the thoughts we think. When we find ourselves thinking “This is scary, I can’t handle this.” we can take a movement to add some clarity by saying to ourselves “I feel scared, but I’ve been scared before and things have been just fine.”
The final thought I want to share about fear is that there is safety in numbers. Being with people you know and trust can lead to a significant reduction in your fear response… and theirs. So group up and work together to overcome the challenges that fear points out in your lives.
Thanks For Reading
If you found this helpful, you can read all of my Daily Reflections at www.tacticstotalwellness.com/blog
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