The only opportunity you have to be happy is right now.
Look, I’m not even sure being happy all the time is the goal or even a potential reality… but feeling happy every now and then (or as often as possible) is pretty nice so let’s talk about it a bit.
What is happiness?
Well, it can be a temporary emotion like joy, pleasure, or a feeling of being content brought on by doing something we enjoy, being with people we like, or winning a competition.
Happiness can also be more aligned with a feeling of satisfaction or well-being that comes from our sense of having autonomy, being competent and capable, and having strong social connections.
In cognitive behavioral theory happiness is observed as coming from the thoughts we form about ourselves and the world around us. If our thoughts are positive, then our mood will be positive and that will likely feel like being happy.
Viktor Frankl showed us in his work to develop existential theories that happiness doesn’t come from avoiding suffering but from finding meaning despite the suffering.
Happiness is something that can’t necessarily be chased or pursued because when we orient ourselves to obtaining happiness it tends to always be just out of reach resulting in frustration and other negative emotions.
There are also significant cultural aspects of happiness. For example Western cultures tend to associate happiness with pleasure, achievements and accomplishments, and having independence. In Eastern Cultures there is more of a focus on finding balance, harmony, and inner peace as a path to happiness.
In my lived experience I have come to understand that happiness, in all its many forms, is the result of:
- Cultivating the relationships that matter the most to me.
- Growing through education, training, and experience.
- Actively engaging in life right now, instead of just thinking about the past or the future.
- Understanding what gives my life meaning and purpose and using that as my center of gravity.
These four things, relationships, growth, engagement, and purpose will manifest in unique ways for each of us. Interestingly, they will be both the sources of some of our greatest challenges and our greatest successes.
Thanks for reading my morning Ted Talk.
