Many philosophies and religions advocate for the use of mantras to focus thoughts, help regulate emotions, and sustain helpful behaviors. I was thinking about some of the mantras that I have used in my life and I had the thought that if you don’t select your own mantra your mind will find one for you… and it might not be what you want.
Here are some mantras that I’ve used over the years.
“Smarter, faster, stronger: physically, mentally, and emotionally.” This is a good one for physical fitness, education, training, and emotion regulation development. Our family uses this one to help us stay in a growth mindset.
“Millions of people have done it.” I like this mantra for facing challenges that seem daunting or overwhelming. This was the thought going through my mind as I stepped off the bus at basic training.
“Accept it, live with it, and get on with your life.” Sort of a blunt force reality acceptance mantra that comes from my Dad. I like it because in addition to accepting reality it establishes the expectation to live with reality and to keep moving on with your life.
“When we do hard things, hard things get easier.” I often pair this one with the idea that you can’t do a hundred push ups without doing one push up first.
“Life is a team sport.” This is an easy way to remind yourself that you depend on others, and others depend on you.
Now, let’s look at some of the mantras that can sneak into your life if you aren’t careful.
“If only…” These wicked mantras put the brakes on progress and shift our attention towards complaining instead of taking action. If only I had more money I could… If only I had more friends…. If only I was healthier… if only they didn’t…
“I never…” When we say I never on repeat we might just be shutting doors to opportunities that could help us move towards the life we want to live.
“I hate…” This one prioritizes our preferences by highlighting the inverse negative. The ones that really grind my gears are typically linked to learning. I hate reading or I hate math… say that enough times and you will start to run into some serious challenges managing your life.
“I’m not…” The I’m not mantras often contain some form of self depreciation that can send us off on a downward spiral. I’m not good at fishing… I’m not a good dancer… I’m not good with people… give these mantras enough time and attention and they might seal your fate.
The good news is that we can spot the negative mantras and replace them with positive ones. This gives us more control over how we feel and can lead to more helpful behaviors. One good trick to try if you find yourself repeating a negative mantra is to just say the opposite. You can also try using more flexible language to step towards a more helpful mantra.
I’m sure there are endless amounts of positive and negative mantras. I would love to hear some of yours if you feel like sharing. If you don’t want to put them out in public you can always DM me.
