If you find yourself living at the mercy and whim of raging emotions this may be a sign you need to increase your capability and capacity to regulate your emotions. In the years that I have been studying philosophy I often see quippy snippets of wisdom that advocate for some form of emotional control or discipline, but it wasn’t until I started learning about the skills taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy that I was able to link the need to regulate emotions with the actual skills that can be used to accomplish this goal. Here are the key skills you can develop and grow to help regulate your emotions.
One of the first steps is to name and describe the emotion you feel using detail and specificity. This includes describing the physical sensations, thoughts, and urges that ride along with the emotion.
Check the facts associated with the emotional response to make sure they actually fit with the situation. This works even better if you do it with a trusted partner, friend, or counselor.
If the emotions don’t fit the facts then take the opposite action to get the power of inertia on your side.
There are also proactive measures we can take to increase our resilience to strong emotions.
- Accumulate Positive Experiences by doing things you enjoy that are aligned with your values
- Build Mastery to increase your self-confidence and competence
- Cope Ahead by planning and rehearsing how to navigate emotionally difficult activities
- Take care of your physical health by treating illness, eating healthy, avoiding mood-altering substances, getting enough quality sleep, and exercising regularly.
Give them a try and let me know what you think.
