When assessing ourselves in the context of developing the life we want to live, it can be useful to take some time and think about the responsibilities and commitments we are obliged to follow. The goal isn’t to judge these obligations as good or bad. It is to assess how they impact our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to determine to what extent they are helping us live the life we want to live.
We can start with a broad categorization of these obligations: Self-Imposed and Necessary.
Self-Imposed Obligations
Perfectionism
People Pleasing
Always Being Available
Self-Sufficiency
Guilt-Driven Commitments
The Need to Prove Yourself
Attending Every Social Event
Keeping in Touch with Everyone
Family Expectations
Being the “fixer” or “Problem Solver”
Gift-Giving
Always Being Productive
Overcommitting at Work
Never Saying No
Pressure to Hustle
Checking Email
Maintaining an Ideal Body Image
Eating the “right” things all the time
Strict Routines
Daily Self-Improvement
Necessary Obligations
Providing for Your basic Needs
Maintaining Health
Personal Safety
Earning a Living
Paying Bills & Taxes
Meeting Work Responsibilities
Budgeting & Financial Planning
Following Laws
Fulfilling Civic Duties
Honoring Contracts and Agreements
Parenting Responsibilities
Caring for Dependents
Maintaining Healthy Relationship
Marriage & Partnership Commitments
Honesty & Integrity
Basic Courtesy & Respect
Helping Others When You Can
There is a lot of room for debating and exploring each of these obligations and that’s a good thing. They are worthy targets of exploration and understanding. Some of them come from social and cultural norms. Some of them are set by legal and ethical standards. Many of them are passed down to us from friends and family, and many of them end up in our lives based on the experiences we have had.
The obligations in our lives are powerful. They are consumers of our time, energy, attention, and effort. They can build us up or tear us down. Because they are so powerful, maybe there is an obligation to prune the ones that are harmful and nurture the ones that are helpful.
If you found this helpful, you can read all of my Daily Reflections at www.tacticstotalwellness.com/blog
