Don’t confuse acting under the raw influence of your emotional compulsions with being the same thing as making a wise choice. I think I see this most in people (and in myself) when they start to live their lives like “work-acholoics,” but I’m sure it manifests in other ways as well. The work-aholic is constantly […]
Raw Impulses vs. Wise Choices Read More »
I love this question for a few reasons. First, the answer is typically a binary yes or no and that helps with clarity. Another reason is that the language of the questions is not seeking a subjective judgement of quality or morality. Perhaps my favorite reason is that we can use it to challenge our
Is this helping me, or is it getting in my way? Read More »
If you find yourself living at the mercy and whim of raging emotions this may be a sign you need to increase your capability and capacity to regulate your emotions. In the years that I have been studying philosophy I often see quippy snippets of wisdom that advocate for some form of emotional control or
Regulating Emotions Read More »
I get to spend this weekend working with Vantage Point Foundation helping my fellow veterans make peace with the past, become more present in the moment, and discover their purpose for the future. For me this is game time. It is the reason I study and train. My hope is that I can be at
Not everything matters and you don’t have to care. I have to tell you it feels good to write that, and at the same time I have a sense that reading it might “split the room.” The idea I am digging at here is the pressure we sometimes feel to get involved cognitively or emotionally
Not everything matters and you don’t have to care. Read More »
Society and popular culture puts a lot of pressure on us to “be yourself.” There are a lot of presumptions that go into quippy catch phrases like this, not the least of which is that we have the slightest idea of what we want ourselves to be. Thankfully, we have the capability and capacity to
You Are More Than Just “Yourself” Read More »
The past few weeks I’ve been trying out this idea of “doing” more. I’m not talking about adding more to my to-do list, the idea is to take more small deliberate actions to live the life I want to live. Maybe some examples will help me illustrate what I’m talking about. My wife and I
One of the trends I see in my role as a teacher and as a counselor is the harm that can be caused by oversimplification. Typically what I see is that someone will exaggerate their thoughts or emotions by using language that may speed up expression of thoughts and feelings but can also minimize or
The Risk of Oversimplification Read More »
A few years ago I jotted down a note that said “external resources don’t solve internal problems.” This note predates my shift from military counterintelligence and law enforcement work to clinical mental health counseling and teaching. I like to think my education, training and experience has helped me refine this thought a bit. But it
External Resources Don’t Solve Internal Problems Read More »
Seek first to understand. This is one of my favorite concepts because it implies gaining clarity by taking action. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about the concept of “seeking” is a RADAR system that used to cause me a lot of headaches when I was a young Airman. As a
Seek first to understand Read More »
